Rest in My Spirit

Sunday; the day of drama and the night of terror. I had wondered if it really was God speaking to me? Although Sunday's homily completely resonated with what God said to me on Thursday (the part when I was inspired to ask for love of God and fellow men), I didn't quite understand why when I asked about the significance of the Wedding Garment (Matt 22: 11 - 13, Yep, referred to the Bible next to me to ensure it was the correct verse lol.), I didn't get to hear the magnificent explanation of it. What I got out of it was; I need to know the significance of the wedding garment (I had an image that it was white).

But I did find out about it; in the end, the man refused to put on the King's (God's) given garment even though it was given to Him and tried to blend in with his own garment. That was why the King had him bound and thrown out: the man had insulted the King by not wearing the wedding garment given to Him, and I wondered why God didn't tell me this and instead (I supposed it must've been me) to come up with my own thoughts to known more about the Wedding Garment.

That was Monday's story.

Tuesday,  I decided to go and see God, to ask him why even though I was still kinda tired from Sunday night's frightening experience.

I had decided that since Tuesday was when my schedule wasn't very busy, I would just head there to speak with Him to find out why He didn't speak and explain the Bible verse to me personally. So I did, drive there and sat there in the prayer room. 

When I did ask, I (not sure if it's Him or my own head speaking) that I hadn't had enough knowledge of the bible, and therefore I had to go back and learn about the Wedding Garment. (Sad case)

Then I asked on Monday morning's scary experience and wondered why I couldn't feel His presence or be confident enough that He was there. Then He said, He was there, it's just that I couldn't feel Him because I had sinned.

Sin doesn't push us away from God, because God is always present in our lives if we are His children. But it damages our spiritual sense of the relationship we have, so we feel like He wasn't there. Monday morning's experience taught me how bad sin was, and how damaging it is.

Going back to the prayer room; I was astonished and shocked. So I asked for forgiveness; remaining myself that I need to go for confession. But after that... I fell asleep. When I woke up, I apologized and tried to keep awake, but I felt Him telling me that He knew I was tired, so He was asking me to rest in His Spirit. Which I did, for a little while longer before heading home.